Feeling Lonely Abroad? Five Practical Ways to Build Connection in a New Country

Moving abroad can be an exciting opportunity for personal and professional growth. A new country may offer a different lifestyle, career opportunities, and experiences that would not have been possible elsewhere. Yet alongside these positive changes, many people experience an unexpected feeling: loneliness.

You may enjoy your new life and feel satisfied with your work, yet still miss having someone to share an ordinary evening with. You might have colleagues, neighbors, and acquaintances, but few people with whom you feel genuinely connected.

Relocation often means leaving behind familiar relationships, routines, and sources of emotional support. Building a new social network takes time, especially when adjusting to a different culture or work environment.

Loneliness is not simply about being physically alone. It is a subjective experience that can arise when the quality or quantity of our social relationships does not meet our emotional needs (Hawkley & Cacioppo, 2010). Research also highlights the importance of social relationships for physical health and psychological well-being (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010).

The following five strategies may help people living abroad gradually develop more meaningful connections.

1. Focus on Meaningful Connections Rather Than Meeting More People

When feeling lonely, the immediate reaction may be to attend more events, meet more people, or stay socially busy. Although these activities can create opportunities for connection, having many acquaintances does not necessarily reduce loneliness.

The distinction between social contact and emotional connection is important. As Hawkley and Cacioppo (2010) explain, loneliness is tied to perceived social isolation rather than simply the amount of time spent with others.

Instead of focusing exclusively on meeting new people, consider which relationships make you feel comfortable, understood, and accepted.

You might begin by identifying one or two people you would genuinely like to know better. Rather than waiting for a spontaneous friendship to develop, suggest a coffee, a walk, or another simple activity.

Try this: Think of one person you have enjoyed talking to recently. Send a message suggesting a specific activity within the next week.

Small, consistent interactions can gradually create opportunities for closer relationships.

2. Create Opportunities for Regular Social Contact

Friendships rarely develop from a single meeting. Repeated contact gives you opportunities to get to know others and discover shared interests.

When living abroad, this may require more deliberate effort because the social environments that previously supported friendships are no longer available.

Consider joining a regularly scheduled activity, such as a language class, walking group, sports club, volunteer initiative, or creative workshop.

Research on social identity suggests that belonging to meaningful social groups can contribute to psychological well-being. Cruwys et al. (2014) highlight the relationship between social identification, connectedness, and depression, while Cruwys et al. (2013) found evidence linking social group memberships with protection against depressive symptoms.

These findings do not mean that joining a group will automatically eliminate loneliness. However, participating in meaningful group activities may create opportunities to build connection and belonging.

Try this: Choose one recurring activity that genuinely interests you and commit to attending several sessions before deciding whether it is right for you.

The aim is not to make friends instantly, but to create an environment where relationships have time to develop.

3. Stay Connected to Your Previous Life Without Living Only in the Past

Maintaining relationships with family and friends in your home country can provide emotional stability and continuity.

Regular calls, messages, and shared experiences can help preserve important connections, especially during difficult periods of adjustment.

Social support is an important aspect of well-being. Holt-Lunstad et al. (2010), in a meta-analysis of 148 studies, found a significant association between stronger social relationships and a higher likelihood of survival.

Although this research was not specifically focused on expatriates, it reinforces the broader importance of maintaining supportive relationships throughout life.

At the same time, it may be useful to reflect on whether most of your emotional and social life still takes place elsewhere.

For example, if every free evening is spent communicating with people back home, there may be fewer opportunities to explore new local relationships.

There is no need to choose between old and new connections. Both can have an important place in your life.

Try this: Set aside regular time to connect with someone important back home, while also making time each week for an activity in your current community.

The goal is to maintain meaningful relationships while gradually fostering a sense of belonging in your new environment.

4. Notice the Thoughts That May Be Keeping You Isolated

Loneliness can sometimes shape how we interpret social situations.

You might find yourself thinking:

• "Everyone already has their own friends."

• "I will probably be bothering them if I suggest meeting."

• "If they wanted to see me, they would contact me first."

These thoughts can feel convincing, especially after disappointing social experiences. However, they are interpretations, not established facts.

Research suggests that loneliness may be linked to heightened sensitivity to perceived social threats and a tendency to interpret social situations more negatively (Hawkley & Cacioppo, 2010).

Furthermore, a meta-analysis by Masi et al. (2011) found that interventions targeting maladaptive social cognition showed promising results in reducing loneliness, particularly in randomized studies.

Instead of automatically accepting a discouraging thought, try considering alternative explanations.

For example, someone who has not contacted you may be busy, distracted, or unsure whether you would like to meet.

Try this: The next time you hesitate to initiate contact, ask yourself:

What evidence supports my interpretation? Is there another possible explanation? What small action could I take to test my assumption?

The aim is not to force positive thinking but to approach social situations with greater flexibility.

5. Give Yourself Time to Develop a Sense of Belonging

Adapting to a new country is not a linear process.

Some days you may feel confident, independent, and excited about your new life. Other days, you may miss familiar places, routines, or relationships.

These experiences can coexist.

Research on social identity and mental health suggests that belonging to meaningful groups can play an important role in psychological well-being (Cruwys et al., 2014).

Rather than expecting an immediate sense of belonging, consider that it may develop gradually through everyday experiences.

Recognizing familiar faces, establishing routines, discovering favorite places, or participating in community activities may help your new environment feel more familiar.

Try this: At the end of each week, identify one moment when you felt comfortable, connected, or more familiar with your surroundings.

This reflection is a practical self-awareness exercise rather than a clinically validated treatment for loneliness. Its purpose is to help you notice gradual changes that might otherwise go unrecognised.

When Loneliness Becomes More Difficult to Manage

Feeling lonely occasionally is a common human experience. However, persistent loneliness can be linked to emotional distress and difficulties with psychological and physical well-being.

Research has linked loneliness to depressive symptoms, poorer sleep, and other health-related difficulties (Hawkley & Cacioppo, 2010). The broader public health significance of loneliness has also received increasing attention (Cacioppo & Cacioppo, 2018).

If loneliness is persistent, overwhelming, or accompanied by significant anxiety, low mood, or withdrawal from everyday activities, speaking with a qualified mental health professional may be helpful.

Psychological support can provide an opportunity to explore emotional experiences, relationship patterns, and difficulties that may be affecting the ability to form or maintain connections.

Seeking support does not mean you have failed to adapt. It can be a constructive step toward understanding your needs and developing healthier ways of responding to challenges.

Final Thoughts

Building a meaningful life abroad involves more than finding a home, a job, or a comfortable routine. For many, it also means developing relationships that provide emotional security and a sense of belonging.

There is no universal timeline for feeling settled in a new country.

Rather than pressuring yourself to build an entirely new social life right away, focus on small, consistent steps. Meaningful connections often develop gradually through shared experiences, openness, and time.

Loneliness may be part of the adjustment process, but it does not have to define your experience of living abroad.

References

Cacioppo, J. T., & Cacioppo, S. (2018). The growing problem of loneliness. The Lancet, 391(10119), 426. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(18)30142-9

Cruwys, T., Dingle, G. A., Haslam, C., Haslam, S. A., Jetten, J., & Morton, T. A. (2013). Social group memberships protect against future depression, alleviate depression symptoms and prevent depression relapse. Social Science & Medicine, 98, 179–186. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2013.09.013

Cruwys, T., Haslam, S. A., Dingle, G. A., Haslam, C., & Jetten, J. (2014). Depression and social identity: An integrative review. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 18(3), 215–238. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868314523839

Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: A theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 40(2), 218–227. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-010-9210-8

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLOS Medicine, 7(7), Article e1000316. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316

Masi, C. M., Chen, H.-Y., Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2011). A meta-analysis of interventions to reduce loneliness. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 15(3), 219–266. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868310377394

About the Author

Dr. Katerina Michael, PhD
Counselling Psychologist/Systemic Psychotherapist, ECP